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The Creation of The Lifetime Success Process™

I am often asked about how my 3 Core Programs, THE 12 LIFE SECRETS, THE 12 WEALTH SECRETS, and CREATING YOUR ULTIMATE DESTINY came about. As you may know, I spent many years working with the #1 producer and worldwide distributor of personal development products, Nightingale-Conant Corporation, founded by my original mentor, Earl Nightingale.

During the time I worked with N-C, I helped craft programs for hundreds of thought leaders like Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer, and many others you may know.

I also learned from thousands of clients what they liked most about these programs and what they did not. As a result of listening to and studying all of these programs, I discovered a huge problem within the Personal Development Industry.

Here’s the problem:  Authors were trying so hard to be unique and different, they were changing and revising key, universal truths that have always worked through the ages. (This is even more true today.)  Proven secrets for success were becoming lost in translation or hard to follow. What was relatively simple to understand, was becoming confusing with tons of contradictions. People were confused about what to do or who to follow.

What I knew was needed was a Simpler, Clearer Path to success that anyone could follow … so I decided to create a solution …

Then one day, I was playing the piano and I noticed something for the first time. If you look at a piano and count all of the notes you will find 88 different black and white keys or notes. What’s interesting is that although there are 88 keys, there are only 12 different primary notes. Check it out for yourself sometime. The primary 12 notes just continue to repeat in octaves. This means that all of the great music we have ever heard is made up of only 12 notes. Talk about simplicity. The same can be said about the world’s greatest ideas. You don’t need endless principles to succeed, and the key principles never change.

This breakthrough lead me to the creation of my first Core Program, THE 12 LIFE SECRETS

I boiled down all of the products I’d listened to over the years and all of the books I’ve read into the 12 most important principles. It became my cornerstone product that was endorsed by the major thought leaders of the day and remains a best-seller to this day.

This program immediately went to the top of the sales list and is more relevant today than the day it was written, because it is based on the most important and timeless principles.  It was later endorsed by dozens of world-class thought leaders as a simple guide to getting what you want in life.

I knew what was needed next was a program to help individuals create true and lasting Financial Success, so I developed THE 12 WEALTH SECRETS which also became a best-seller.

Again, it contains the foundational principles of becoming financially independent that never change. It’s simple and it works!  THE 12 WEALTH SECRETS contains universal laws of success that will guide you to a path of financial prosperity in your life.

Finally, I knew that I needed to address the critical concept of how to create your best life making sure your success leads to true happiness and fulfillment. If you become successful and miss fulfillment, you’ve lost the game. I titled the next program CREATING YOUR ULTIMATE DESTINY which again became a best-seller.  This program is the culmination of everything it takes to create your best life and to find exactly what it takes to Create Your Ultimate Destiny.

Each of these 3 Core Programs are unique in their own way, and each deliver 12 Powerful Secrets and Ideas that will change your life.

It was after finishing these programs that I realized it was time for me to leave Nightingale-Conant and start my own company. That’s when I developed THE LIFETIME SUCCESS PROCESS™ which has guided everything I have done over the years with my company Success Systems International, LLC. It is now the foundation of all of our products and services.

I took all I had learned and more from some of the greatest minds in history and crafted a Simple 7-Step Formula for Success. It is a process that anyone could follow, understand, and use daily to stay on course. It’s made up of just 7 simple steps that never fail to produce results. They are the glue that hold everything together. Learn them and use them, and you will succeed. It’s that simple. Miss them and you’ll get lost in endless details and distractions.

Now, I am grateful and happy to have seen these programs change the lives of countless people all over the world including so many of my personal Mentoring Clients. The programs are what I call Evergreen Products like Napoleon Hill’s THINK AND GROW RICH or James Allen’s AS A MAN THINKETH. They are based on the key principles that never fail to produce outstanding results. They are proven strategies and time-tested ideas that you can implement easily within your life where ever you may be right now.  All you have to do is make these ideas your own by listening to the programs or reading the transcripts. They come with workbooks so you can study the material in greater depth.

Try them in your life. My wish is that they work for you as well as they have worked for me and so many others.

Robert Stuberg

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Step into Your Greatness

All of us have challenges and fears in our life that we are faced with from time to time. Sometimes these fears are minor and sometimes they can become extremely debilitating. Either way, we only truly grow and succeed when we face our fears.  Most of us have heard the phrase:

True Success and Growth is created outside your comfort zone.  

I love this statement because it reminds me to focus on the opportunities that are presented to me whenever a challenge or fear is put in my path.  I have experienced time and time again the success and fulfillment that has come into my life by facing my fears and “leaning into what I fear most”.

There has never been a better time to learn and act on this principle than now. Our business, social, and economic environment is placing many fears in our path and I believe we can use this as an opportunity to Learn more about Ourselves, Grow our Success, and Create an Amazing Life of Fulfillment and Prosperity. But it will require some Bold, Courageous, and Intentional Actions on our part. I hope this message might inspire you to do just that…

The Time I Walked Away from $250k

There have been many times that I have had to face my fears in difficult situations and life events. However, I can think of one in particular that really pushed me to a new level.

I was twenty-nine years old and had built a successful sales team for a leading online stock education company.  I was doing very well financially and had built a team consistently generating me over $250k per year.  More importantly, I was married and had 5 kids at the time.

I had built a relationship with an individual that owned a small events company doing about $20M per year in revenue with about 20 employees. This individual had presented me with the opportunity to walk away from my “cush” “job” and become the CEO of his company.  I’m not sure what he saw in me, and I certainly did not feel qualified for the position.  But, I was faced with the challenge or opportunity to walk away from an already built $250k per year to earn a commission (only on profit) of helping him to grow his company.

I saw the potential, but it was a thought that literally terrified me.  I had worked very hard to create the level of success I had created (from the ground up) and knew that it would require some serious “heavy lifting” to jump ship and move to the next level with this offer.  I spent many long, stressful, and thoughtful days considering the offer.

I knew that I wanted to go to the next level.  The opportunity appeared to be sound but I would give up a solid (bird in the hand) income for an upside that was not guaranteed in any way.  To say I was scared to make the move would be an understatement.  But ultimately, I chose to make the move and I have never looked back.  In hindsight, that move is what gave me an incredible amount of experience, success, relationships, and life skills.  It was a bumpy ride (which we can cover at another time), but we were able to grow the company to over $200M in net collected revenue with over 300 employees in 5 short years.  This was a perfect example of leaning into my Fear in order to Grow and Create Success.

And Most Importantly…This is Where I met my Long-Time Mentor, Friend and Partner Robert Stuberg…

So, I let me ask you a question…What do you Fear Most?

Is there an opportunity that you have been considering or presented with?  Is there a skill that you have put off learning or developing? Is there a personal passion that you have wanted to start building a business around?  Are there investing opportunities that you don’t feel qualified to start learning and doing?  Maybe you have some current challenges or problems in your life or business that you simply don’t feel qualified to deal with. Maybe you have a relationship or a family matter that you can’t seem to get up the courage to start working on. Regardless of what the fear is that is present in your life, I can promise you that your “Greatest Accomplishments”…Your Best Life…is waiting just beyond that challenge or fear.

See, I believe that your Fear is there for a reason that will benefit you.  Maybe it’s your gut telling you that you need to address it. Maybe it’s your subconscious mind identifying to you an area that you can learn and grow from. Don’t get me wrong, I believe that fears can be real (in life and especially in our minds), but I also believe most FEAR is something we create to avoid problems in our lives…simply put it is “false events appearing real.”  Maybe another way to look at FEAR is to see it as an opportunity, or a Highlighted area for Growth rather than a red flag to run away from.

Either way, you were meant to do great things and can only accomplish your best life by addressing the road blocks holding you back from Greatness.

Why Should you START with Fear?

What can we hope to gain from facing our fears and How do we actually start Crushing those fears?…

Here are just a few (of many) reasons to Face Your Fears:

  • Gateway to Results- facing your fears can give you valuable experience that you can use to grow, build, and learn strategies to execute at a higher level in the future. Remember that even failure carries with it knowledge that will improve your skills moving forward.
  • Personal Growth- the fastest way to grow is to stretch yourself.  This will most certainly happen when you face your fears.  You learn new ways to accomplish your goals, and you are forced to adapt to a new environment.
  • Increased Fulfillment- personal growth is one of the most important ways to feel a greater amount of fulfillment and passion in your life.  Truly living only happens when we are growing personally and professionally.  Facing your fears is an amazing way to do this.
  • Build Confidence & Belief- As we face our fears, we build confidence and belief in our own abilities to handle life and the amount of uncertainty we have in life.  The experience that comes from dealing with fear creates new beliefs that we can handle any situation in life, and this will create more confidence in our ability to stop dealing with even greater challenges in the future.

I can go on and on about the positive benefits that come with facing your fears.  I also know that there can be difficult, emotional, and negative experiences that come with facing our fears.  Rejection, Failure, and Setbacks can also come with facing your fears, but remember this…

Anything that you can Learn from a Situation can be turned into a Positive if you will just Make the Decision that it will help you Grow and do better in the Future.

How to Start Crushing Your Fear?

Let’s talk about how you can start Crushing Your Fears and some ideas I have for helping you Take Action…

I’ve learned all kinds of ways to deal with fear, challenges and struggles in my life.  I wrote down a few of the Empowering Thoughts, Techniques, and Disciplines that I have learned and used over the years, and here are a few of the best ideas I can give you:

  • Say Yes, then Figure it Out- Most every 7-Figure mentor that I know has adopted the idea that they will act on opportunity and figure it out along the way.  You don’t need to know everything to take action.
  • Good is Good Enough- Taking action on your dreams, desires and opportunities is good enough.  Don’t wait for confidence to tackle your fears.  Confidence comes after you push through your fears.
  • Focus Your Energy- When you are leaning into fear, you must create space to focus your time, energy, and talent so you can develop the skills needed to handle the challenge.  Don’t multitask when facing your fears.
  • Surrounding yourself with Positive- Facing fears can be scary, but you can build up your confidence, belief, and abilities by surrounding yourself with others that have already faced similar fears.  They can help you benefit from belief transference, positive influence, and support along the way.
  • Eliminate Distractions- The best way to deal with your fears is to block out some time and hit them head on. Don’t allow distractions, easy ways out, and others to distract you from your objective and focus on conquering your fears.
  • Do Less Not More- The key to handling your fears is not to take everything on all at once.  Don’t feel you need to do it all.  Just simply take the first step.  Most times, the answers, details, and solutions come along the way.  The path to dealing with your fears will most of the time reveal the solutions you are looking for along the way.

Ultimately, there is no magic pill or easy way to get through facing your fears. You are the only one equipped to handle your fears.  You are the only that can face them.  But, if you will remember and adopt the idea that “Everything happens for a reason and that reason is there to Benefit me”, then your perspective will drive your experience.  True or not, that will empower you to create an experience of growth and learning rather than failure, disappointment, and struggle.

WARNING:  Don’t Let This Happen!

I have a thought that came to me, and it is a simple (but serious) word of caution or warning. Sometimes we fail to recognize that the opportunity or situation “already present in our life” is what we fear dealing with the most.  As a result, we (as entrepreneurs, investors, or just humans) use new opportunities as excuses to “Not deal with Fear we currently have”.  Let me give you an example.  So many times I have seen entrepreneurs or individuals chase shiny objects (new opportunities) in order to find a “way out” of working hard and dealing with the struggles they may be currently facing. You cannot move from opportunity to opportunity thinking you are “operating outside your comfort zone”, if you are in fact just avoiding your current situation.  Learn to face your fears, regardless of where they are present in your life.

You Can Do It!!

I know we all have greatness inside of us.  I know that we are given challenges for a reason and that reason is to grow and develop the best versions of ourselves.  This is not a destination driven objective.  It is a path based journey. We learn, grow, and develop along the way for our entire lives. When you fall in love with the process…the path…then you release your need for the end result.  When you stop fixating on the end result, you can start to really enjoy the process more.

You are on a path that rewards the person willing to Lean into their Fears with the Benefit of Prosperity, Personal Growth, and Happiness.  By avoiding your fears you are left with disappointment, regret, and failure.  After all, you will miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. You will Benefit from 100% of the shots you take (regardless of scoring points) if you Learn something from every shot.

Wayne Dyer said that as we all look back on the Tapestry of our Lives we will gain a better perspective and the Meaning and Purpose of our Challenges will become more clear. It is my hope that when you look back on your life, you are Happy and Confident that you Leaned into your Fear…that you took the risks…that you embraced change…that you learned to love the process of Growth.  I am working on that every day, and I believe you can too.  You can do it.  You have the abilities to handle anything if you will simply put your mind, effort, and resolve to doing it. What the mind can conceive and believe it CAN achieve.  So, Start Creating Your Best Life Today.

George Wright III

 

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When Failure is Better Than Success

Welcome back to Stuberg.com.  My name is George Wright III, and Robert Stuberg has asked me to step in as the President & CEO of Success Systems International, LLC and Stuberg.com.  I am very excited to be able to roll out some incredible new programs, strategies and courses that will help you to Create Your Best Life.  Robert and I have some amazing announcements happening over the next few weeks, so don’t miss out…keep checking Stuberg.com for details.

“George Wright has been a private client of mine for over 2 decades, and he is one of the best Personal Develop Experts working in the field today. He has agreed to become the new President and CEO of Success Systems International, LLC which manages all of my business activities, including Stuberg.com”- Robert Stuberg

I’d like to share a message with you this week that I hope will inspire you to challenge your own definition of success…PLUS…a FREE Offer below.

I’ve spent the better part of my life working and learning around successful people in the area of personal development and financial education. A few years ago, major events in my life happened that made me begin to question my level of happiness and fulfillment. I realized that I was not where I wanted to be in life, and I felt extremely unhappy and unfulfilled. Even though I had accomplished most of my goals in life, I had not accomplished what is most important in life – i.e., happiness and fulfillment.

The things that most people equate to having success including a great education, massive income, and many status symbols such as expensive cars, homes, and travel weren’t giving me what I thought they would. Even with the most wonderful wife and kids, I still had a feeling of wanting more, and yet nothing was making me happy with what I had. It really bothered me and perplexed me at the same time. I began to feel depressed and unfocused in my life.

Luckily, I decided to discuss my challenges with a person who was a close friend and long-time Mentor, Robert Stuberg.

Robert suggested that I read an article he had written titled “When Failure is Better than Success.” The title really shocked me. How could failure ever be better than success? It didn’t make any sense to me but I respected him enough to read the article. I’m so glad I did because it complete revolutionized my life. (I will tell you how you can get a FREE copy of Robert’s article in a moment, and I urge you to read it today.)

I read Robert’s article the same day he told me about it, and then I reread it a number of times because it was hitting me right between the eyes. It was like Robert had written the article just for me. (I later learned that he wrote it for himself to remind him of a truth he had lost sight of in his own quest for success.) After reading and rereading the article, I called Robert to discuss it with him. My life has never been the same. Reading this article and talking with Robert was a major breakthrough in my life. I didn’t realize that I had inadvertently adopted a philosophy about success that was in complete alignment with most of the world yet entirely out of alignment with the facts.

Robert helped me realize that my definition of success and happiness were entirely wrong. I had it backwards. I was reaching for and achieving many “worthwhile goals” yet they would never create the peace and happiness I was looking for with the strategy I was using. I needed to completely redefine what I really wanted my life to be like. After I saw the truth, Robert suggested that I listen to “Creating Your Ultimate Destiny” which was a program he had written and recorded while he was an author, speaker, and key executive at Nightingale-Conant Corporation.

Robert left Nightingale-Conant Corporation many years ago and has had an amazing track record of success with happiness, which is the ultimate bulls-eye in life. What’s most important is that after my breakthrough, The Stuberg Mentoring Academy was born as an idea that Robert and I developed to help more people combine happiness and fulfillment with success.

That’s also when I decided to accept the role as President of Success Systems International and help others find more Success, Happiness and Prosperity in their lives.  I have learned, practiced and benefited from the teaching and principles that Robert Stuberg has developed over decades of working with thousands of individuals just like you and me.

Our Mission is to provide you with the information, knowledge, resources and tools you need to Create the Life You Were Meant to Live. It’s now your turn to not just create, but to live your ultimate destiny. As a result, you CAN and WILL create success and happiness in your life. Remember that success without fulfillment is best defined as failure! Don’t let that be you. Choose success with happiness!!

If you haven’t done so already, sign up on Stuberg.com and I’ll send you a FREE ebook version of Robert’s article. Join me on the journey of self-awareness and success. Connect with and begin networking with people who can help you get everything you want in life. Allow The Stuberg Mentoring Academy to partner with you for success and happiness starting today!

Click here to get your FREE copy of “When Failure is Better than Success.”

Best of Success,

George Wright III

President, Success Systems International

 

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Sabbatical

I just reread last month’s blog titled “Do Less And Accomplish More!” While I don’t necessarily recommend you do what I’m about to do, it will hopefully show you that I really do work hard to practice what I preach.

I’ve always been fascinated with the idea of a sabbatical. While the common definition is to take a break from work, the original definition goes back to an Old Testament law about farming. The requirement was to sow the seeds and harvest the crops for 6 years and then take the 7th year off to rest. Some might say it was about resting both the land as well as the farmer. While the idea of over-farming a field is well known as it relates to land, what about over-farming yourself?

Last month’s blog was about simplifying your life. It was about asking the question: What should I eliminate or delegate in order to simplify and streamline my life? I’ve done this throughout my life, and I’ve found it to be invaluable. My life is much simpler today than it ever has been but I’m always looking for the next level of growth and advancement.

That’s where a sabbatical comes in. One of my early goals was to take sabbaticals in my work life. In my early life I thought I’d become a college music professor where I would have the summers off and could also take paid sabbaticals for research every so many years. My life didn’t go that way so today as I look over my many goals, I see “take a sabbatical” and it remains uncompleted. We can’t have that. In my mind, working to achieve our goals is what living is all about.

So starting on February 1, 2020, I’m officially on sabbatical. I might take a few months off, but something tells me that I’m going to take the rest of the year off to make up for my many missed sabbaticals.

I’ve made arrangements to keep things working in my businesses without my having to be present. The hardest thing for me is to temporarily discontinue my coaching which I enjoy so much. I have clients that have literally been with me for decades and I’ve had the incredible privilege to be a part of creating some amazing success stories. I promise that I will be back to contribute more but I need to do what old Stephen Covey recommended in “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” Do you remember Habit #7? Here it is:

SHARPEN THE SAW!

Most people are like the lumberjack who was working like crazy to chop down a tree with a dull saw. I don’t remember all of the details of what Mr. Covey wrote so let’s just say that an ancestor of Stephen Covey saw what was happening while walking past the lumberjack and hailed him. He said: “Sir, why don’t you take a break and sharpen your saw? I think you’ll find that the tree will fall much quicker with a lot less work.”

Now I’m sure that’s not the exact story because it has been many years since I read that book; however, I think that’s the essence of the idea. The question really becomes this: What are you working like crazy to do that would be improved if only you stepped back to learn a better way … to sharpen your saw?

That’s what I’m doing for the next few months or perhaps even the rest of this year. We’ll see. I see a number of dull spots I have to sharpen.

While I’m gone, try this idea yourself for a day or a week or a month or longer and then send me a note about how it worked for you. I love hearing how the ideas that have become so important to me are working in other peoples’ lives.

If this idea as I’ve described it doesn’t work, just skip sending me a note and instead read “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” which I know has been life-changing for millions of people.

At any rate, make 2020 a great year … in fact, I dare you to make it the best year of your life so far!

Let’s compare notes in 2021.

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Life Happens for You

What if the only thing holding you back in life is the story you tell yourself about how life works?

Human beings seem to be natural story tellers. Evidence suggests that we’ve been telling ourselves stories from the beginning of time. Certainly, some of those stories are true. However, some of the stories we tell ourselves are undoubtedly just a matter of belief. They are quite often opinions that don’t square with reality. Yet they are stories that help us understand the world and our place in it. At the deepest level, they contain the essence of what we believe about life.

Here’s an example: Do you believe that life happens “to you” or “for you?”

Isn’t that an interesting distinction? What do you believe?

In my experience coaching people, I often hear “stories” from my clients that suggest that life is happening to them, that life is beyond their control. Perhaps, on some level, that’s true. But is that a good belief to hold? Is that belief good for you, good for others, and does it serve the greater good?

When I suggest that perhaps life is not happening “to them” but “for them,” it often creates an “ah ha” moment. In the East, the word “Satori” means instant awakening, comprehension, or understanding. In these moments, life looks different somehow. The problems we face may be the same. The conditions may be unchanged but yet our viewpoint and ultimate experience transforms.  When our “story” changes, our life changes on some level.

Think about some problem you are currently facing and then decide if that problem is happening “to you” or “for you?”

I choose to believe that “Life happens for me.” The difference is just one word. Think about that. Is life happening “to” you or “for” you? I don’t always remember this belief when problems seem to be hitting me from all sides but, when I do, I have a moment of Satori.

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Hits of Happiness

I recently googled “how to be happy” and got 3.7 billion hits. Then for fun I googled “how to be unhappy” and only got 82.7 million hits. I found that interesting. Does that mean there are more ways to be happy than unhappy or are there simply more websites devoted to happiness than there are websites devoted to unhappiness? In either case, there are undoubtedly more people searching for happiness than unhappiness.

My question is how many hits of happiness are you getting in life? Are you getting billions of hits of happiness with only a few hits of unhappiness or is it the reverse? Interestingly, in reading through some of the websites, I found the first few hits on the unhappiness list to be most helpful.

The pursuit of happiness is a universal quest, and even an obsession for some. Of course, I think happiness is what most people aspire to experience. However, reviewing what creates unhappiness may be the best way to focus your thinking.

Here’s a short list I found that makes experiencing unhappiness quite easy:

  1. Buy things you can’t afford or don’t want. Either choice is a sure fit for unhappiness. When you buy things you can’t afford, you go into debt, which limits the other choices available to you. When you buy things you don’t want, you lie to yourself about the real source of your unhappiness.
  2. Compare yourself to others. The love of comparison is the root of much misery. Therefore, judge your success or worth based on other people, especially those with a different background from you. Do this on a continual basis, always looking for a new idol or competitor in which your ideal unhappiness lies.
  3. Take no joy in the journey. Focus only on the destination without appreciating the ride. Fail to celebrate small successes, and neglect to pause for reflection on how far you’ve come.
  4. Respond instead of initiate. Take no responsibility for your schedule or preferences. Let other people set the agenda for your life. Take the lead for your schedule from your Inbox, voicemail, or someone else’s demands.
  5. Allow other people to determine your values and priorities. Set no compass point for your life. Drift in the wind. For best results, allow your values and priorities to shift as you waver between bosses or role models.
  6. Refuse to challenge yourself. Take it easy and settle into routine. Choose to believe that all stress is bad and seek to live as relaxed a life as possible.
  7. Whine and complain to anyone who will listen. Explain how the world isn’t fair and how you would do things differently if you were in charge. Bonus: this practice also allows you to contribute to other people’s unhappiness.
  8. Focus only on yourself. Refuse to forgive. Hold on to grudges. See the worst in people.
  9. Accept things as they are no matter how unsettling they might seem. It could always be worse, right? Live in the complacency of your situation and refuse to fight for something better.

That’s a great list. If you want to see the entire blog post, I’ve included the link below.

What’s most important is to make sure that your daily hits of happiness are higher than your hits of unhappiness. That simple list just might help.

Finally, I thought I’d round out the list to an even 10 with just one more:

  1. Refuse to develop your gifts or use them to serve others. Don’t work on developing those things that you enjoy and that fascinate you in life. Don’t explore who you are at the deepest level, and don’t work on becoming the best version of you. The bottomline: Don’t discover and find your Unique Talent™! That will lead to unhappiness. I promise.

 

Source:  https://chrisguillebeau.com/unhappy/

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Do You Create Your Own Reality?

How many times have you heard this said, “you create your own reality?” If you Google the phrase, you’ll find endless support for this popular idea. Do you believe it’s true? Do you indeed create your own reality? I used to accept this concept and even teach it, but not any longer. It fell apart for me after years of careful examination and study.

I’ve learned that it’s important to be open to challenging any and all beliefs, even if they appear to be sound at first glance. This is where lifelong learning comes into play. It takes courage to question an idea that you’ve been led to believe is true. Unfortunately, many people won’t even consider challenging their beliefs. Yet I’ve learned that anything worth believing must be able to withstand the assault of reason and science. A combination of reason and science always supports and enhances the best ideas.

Of course, all of us have beliefs that aren’t serving us. It’s easy to believe things that aren’t good for us or anyone else. I plead guilty to harboring more than my share of bad ideas. I’ve spent my life working on improving my beliefs while, at the same time, helping others to do the same. Luckily, I’ve been fortunate to find a few strategies that have proved helpful in this process.

Here are my three rules or strategies for examining beliefs:

  1. The Prime Directive– I never tell anyone what to believe. Period. I think of it like the old Star Trek Prime Directive Motto about not interfering with developing planets. However, if someone asks my opinion about a particular belief, I’m happy to offer my perspective on what I think the consequences of holding such a belief might be.
  2. The Belief Challenge– I love to question beliefs in search of the truth. I think the best any of us can do is to work relentlessly to get closer to the truth, knowing that the absolute truth may not be knowable right now. The best way I’ve found to determine if a belief needs to be eliminated or replaced is to examine if the belief is good for you, good for others, and serves the greater good. Many beliefs completely fall apart after a few questions in this regard, especially once you learn the consequences and ultimate outcome of beliefs. I like to say it this way: all beliefs have consequences. Do you know what the consequences of your current beliefs are? Where are your beliefs taking you?
  3. The Belief Substitution– I think, if possible, it’s best to replace a belief rather than just eliminate it. If a belief cannot pass the test of rigorous reason and analysis, it’s time to throw it out. However, it’s often better to replace a limiting belief with an empowering one as opposed just eliminating it. The loss of a belief can create a vacuum that is best filled with something better.

Let’s get back to the popular belief that you create your own reality. If this idea is true, why don’t you have everything that you want right now? Why isn’t your life exactly the way you want it down to the smallest detail? As an example, why are doctors of any kind necessary if you can simply wish away any mental or physical challenge you may have? Surely if you create your own reality, it follows that you can create whatever reality that you want including making yourself look, feel, think, and act in any way you wish. And money, that’s no problem, right? Just visualize the amount of money you want in your bank account, and you’re good to go.

Now if you’re thinking that you haven’t created your own reality yet but you just need more time, why? Doesn’t it follow that if you create your own reality, you control time along with everything else? If this is getting a bit absurd, then you can see where I’m going. If a belief cannot withstand the ongoing assault of logic, reason, and common sense, then there’s something wrong with it. In the case creating your own reality, it leads you down a path that involves “magical thinking.” While it may be fun to believe that you create your own reality, it can also be quite dangerous and destructive.

Think about it this way. If you create your own reality, then it follows that you have the ultimate super power. Forget about the other Marvel comic strip characters because with the ability to create your own reality, you control everything. Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Spider-Man, Thor, Iron Man, Captain Marvel, and all of the others need not apply. You’ve got it covered.

But alas, there is no evidence that a real super hero exists other than what I call “the best version of you” which doesn’t require any hocus pocus. All you need to be “the best version of you” is the courage to learn and apply a common sense set of rules and guidelines that produces real results.

Because I want to really drive home this point, here are two examples of the kind of damage I have observed in myself and others when magical thinking takes over:

  1. Believing that you create your own reality tends to develop deeper and deeper levels of unhappiness and inadequacy as you learn that you can’t turn all of your beliefs into reality. The worst part is when you beat yourself up because of what you might see as your failure to believe. You might even get the well-meaning, yet misdirected, advice to just try harder.
  2. Believing that you can create your own reality can lead you to waste valuable time wishing and hoping when what’s called for is clear thinking, strategic planning, and massive action. Don’t waste your life with magical thinking when intelligent thinking is the answer.

So, here’s my opportunity to help you eliminate this belief if you’re interested. Let me suggest a replacement belief. Read the following quote by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin and see what you think:

“Our duty, as men and women, is to proceed as if limits to our ability did not exist. We are collaborators in creation.”

Notice the difference between believing you create our own reality versus believing you are a collaborator in the creation process. I find the idea of being a collaborator in creation very empowering. Notice how it’s focused on stretching your abilities to the max while also suggesting that you are a creation collaborator. This idea proposes that you are capable of much more than you currently realize while also indicating that you are a member of a team. It’s not all about you. It says that your job is to continue to push the boundaries of what’s possible while working with others to do the same. It leads to questions like these: Are you pushing against your comfort zone with the best team you can find? If not, why not?

Write down the above quote and put it somewhere you can see it every day. Then the next time someone tries to convince you that you create your own reality, read the quote again. It is estimated that 100 billion people have appeared on planet earth; however, you are unique and special. No one exactly like you has ever before appeared on planet earth. Moreover, an exact copy of you is not possible because of your unique combination of genes, environment, and thoughts. You are a one-of-a-kind individual. That should provide you with all of the motivation you need to stay focused on discovering what I call your Unique Talent™ and then using that talent in the service of others. That’s what is most important and, moreover, I believe that is something you were born to do. Just remember to collaborate because the better your team, the better your results.

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When Self-Help is No Help

Although self-help principles and concepts can be enormously useful in helping you change your life for the better, I believe there are limits to how much you can achieve using self-help. Granted, you and you alone can do incredible things to improve your life. Nevertheless, you may find that depending solely on your own devices is not always the best path. Self-help can sometimes be wrought with built-in limits.

One limit in the area of mental health involves conditions like anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress, and a host of other challenges. I shutter to think about the number of times I’ve heard and witnessed well-meaning self-help or personal development authors or speakers delve into areas where they lack the proper knowledge or training. I’m sure you’ve heard self-help “gurus” prescribe vacuous success quips and pollyannaish nonsense in situations where medical help would be the best answer.

I’ve had clients over the years where it was clear to me the challenges they were facing ran much deeper than finding your life’s purpose, changing your beliefs, setting goals that are attainable, reaching more financial success, or developing new strategies for your life and business. This is when self-help or life coaching may not be the right approach. Some problems require medical assistance, and  it’s important to recognize the difference and always err on the side of caution. Let’s use depression as an example as it comes up frequently.

Depression comes in many forms but let’s just consider two broad categories: (1) situational depression, and (2) clinical depression. As the name states, situational depression is situation based. Something has happened in your life that is a short-term, stress-type issue. Maybe something bad has happened and you need to find a healthy way to process it. Perhaps you need to change the situation or just change the way you think about the situation. Self-help, or a bit of coaching, might be useful in this case. So far, so good.

However, what if your depressed mood doesn’t get better in a few days? What if the situation gets better but your depression continues? It’s possible that you’ve stepped into the world of clinical depression.

Here’s an except from Medical News Today:

“Clinical depression is more severe than situational depression. It is also known as major depression or major depressive disorder. It is severe enough to interfere with daily life.”

“It is classified as a mood disorder and it typically involves chemical imbalances in the brain.”

“Clinical depression can have genetic origins or it may develop as a response to painful or stressful experiences or events, such as a major loss. These major life events can trigger negative emotions such as anger, disappointment, or frustration.”

“Depression can change the way a person thinks and how the body works.”

“Alcohol and drug abuse are also linked to clinical depression.”

Since the lines between situational and clinical depression can get blurry, I can understand why people can be confused. But again, it’s always best to err on the side of caution. If you are experiencing depression and it’s been more than a few days, stop the self-help and go get the right medical help.

I’m especially attuned to this topic because there is a history of mental health issues in my family. My mother suffered from depression and anxiety. My father battled substance abuse. And I lost one of my brothers, Paul, on Thanksgiving Day in 2015 as a result of his mental health challenges. His condition was so severe that he tried to take his own life several times. He finally decided to declare himself DNR (“Do Not Resuscitate”) and then refused to take his medications and also refused to eat or drink. Death was more appealing to Paul than the pain of living. So this issue is very real to me.

Are you experiencing any mental health challenges that are out of the reach of the latest self-help book, or a new-to-the-scene motivational speaker, or an exciting life coach? If self-help or pop-psychology isn’t working, the sooner you get medical help the better. Remember that all improvement begins by telling yourself the truth. So how are you doing, and how are you feeling? No, really, how are you feeling? The healing starts with the truth.

No matter what problems you may be facing, there is help available. Maybe a great life coach is all you need to help you see yourself from the outside looking in. Just make sure you choose the right person for your situation. We are all too close to ourselves to really see ourselves as we really are. Shakespeare captured this idea best when he wrote:

“The eye sees not itself but by reflection or of some other means.”

So get the right person to give you both an outside look and an inside look if necessary. Make sure that, if you need a complete inside look, you get the right professional with the best medical training. New discoveries are being made everyday. Never lose sight of help that might be closer than you think with your family and friends. Tell your family and friends how you feel, and always remember to keep the faith. The help you need is available, and it’s within reach.

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The Most Interesting Story in the World

Have you ever heard the most interesting story in the world? It’s the story of how you became the person you are today. It’s also the story about who you will become in the future. While there are undoubtedly an infinite number of factors or causes contributing to who you’ve become and who you will become, after spending most of my life looking for answers, I think I can boil it down to the 3 most important contributing factors.

To begin, visualize in your mind’s eye, a blank canvas that is framed and hanging on the wall like a beautiful piece of artwork. On this blank canvas we are going to first examine what happened to you before you were born. This is the background of your painting and your life. If you look closely, you’ll notice that your parents and each of your parents’ thousands of ancestors placed a drop of paint or made a small brush stroke on that canvas. Your painting now contains the first most important factor that makes up your life, your genes or your DNA.

It’s estimated that there have been over 100 billion people born on planet earth, yet not one of them has had your exact DNA. Just as no two snowflakes or diamonds are exactly the same, your genetic makeup is different in some way from every person who has ever lived or ever will live on the planet. Whether you like it or not, you are an original.

So the first thing that has influenced who you have become is your original genetic structure. Everything about you from your eye color and hair color to your height and weight have their roots in your DNA coding. Even your remarkable brain that is considered to be the most complex structure in the entire universe grew from your one-of-a-kind genetic coding. Moreover, your most valuable asset is that miraculous, 3-pound supercomputer between your ears.

I personally love to study geniuses to get an idea of what’s possible with a human brain. I enjoy studying people like Mozart, for example. Little Wolfgang was discovered to have perfect pitch at age 3 by his musician father. By the time Mozart was 14, it was discovered that he had a photographic memory for music that gained him an invitation from the Vatican to visit the Pope in Rome. Of course, many people don’t find their talent until much later in life. The man whose name has become synonymous with the word genius was thought to be not especially talented by his early teachers. His entry into the job market was as a clerk in a patent office. But while others didn’t think much about him, Albert Einstein was reading, studying, and building his incredible mind. He tapped into the miraculous equipment with which he was born to unlock many of the mysteries of time and space. Einstein solved problems that were once considered impossible to solve.

Now you may not have perfect pitch like Mozart or have a gift for theoretical physics like Einstein, but that’s not the point. What’s important to know is that you are undoubtedly strong and gifted in areas where Mozart and Einstein were weak. I personally believe that each of us has something that I call Unique Talent™. It’s the thing that you are meant to do. It’s something where the combination of your passions and talents are merged together. Have you figured out what that is for you? If not, I promise you that you can find it with some intelligent searching. It’s your most important quest in life. In your own way, you can change the world with your Unique Talent™ just as Mozart and Einstein did.

The second factor that has controlled who you have become in life also started before you were born just like the composition of your DNA. In the same way that didn’t choose your genetics, you didn’t choose your original environment. What this means is that the next bit of paint that was added to that canvas still hanging on the wall was mostly painted by others, especially in your early years. From the environment in your mother’s womb, to your environment as a child, choices were made for you. And the truth about life that doesn’t get enough attention is the fact that the environment in which we live plays a major part in who and what we become. We tend to become like the people we are around without even noticing it. The neighborhood where we grew up, the people who raised us, the teachers we’ve had, the books we’ve read, and everything else we have been exposed to have all added to our painting.

So the first factor is your DNA and the second factor is your environment. You haven’t had a great deal of choice so far but now the story gets really interesting with the third factor shaping your world.

At some point in your life, you came online. You became self-aware. We don’t know exactly when this happens as some people have memories of being in their mother’s womb while others don’t remember much of their childhood. But it’s interesting to consider your earliest memories as well as what you’ve been thinking about most of your life. I believe that your thoughts ultimately control your life so it’s critically important what you choose to think about. This is where you can exert the most control.

You began as DNA being shaped by your environment but you eventually started crawling into the driver’s seat of your life with your thoughts.

People who know about such things tell us that the average person has over 50,000 thoughts a day. The problem is that for most people, the 50,000 thoughts they will have today are the same ones they had yesterday. If you want to change your life, you’ve got to change your thoughts.

I recommend doing what I call a “Mental Download” on occasion, so you can examine what you’re thinking about. Write down your thoughts for a day and analyze what you are thinking about. Determine if your thoughts are taking you in the direction you want to go. You’ll learn a great deal about yourself with this simple process. You may be surprised with what you find lurking around in your mind. Just remember that you can change your thoughts, and when you do, you’ll change your life.

So there you have it: genes, environment, and thoughts. Study all three. Learn more about all three. You can influence all of them! Great minds are currently working on figuring out how to alter or manage bad DNA, and the human race is awakening to the role we play in shaping our environment on a grand scale and learning how we can make it better. We need to do the same in the neighborhood in which we live. And don’t forget to discover and start exploring your Unique Talent™. Your life becomes the best it can be when you put yourself in the best environment possible, and start thinking the thoughts that are calculated to take you where you really want to go in life.

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I Think, Therefore I Am

You’ve undoubtedly heard the well-known idea attributed to Rene Descartes that says “I think, therefore I exist” or “I think, therefore I am.” But what if Decartes’ famous dictum or equation doesn’t provide a complete answer?

The book entitled “Descartes’ Error” by Antonio Damasio takes on Descartes’ famous pronouncement with the idea that our feelings and emotions are much more important than ever imagined. In other words, Damasio believes that it is wrong to think that only minds think. You may want to read that statement again: It is wrong to think that only minds think. What if our feelings and emotions play a key role in the way we think and what if our feelings and emotions are actually at the core of our thinking making them required for rational decision-making? I find his hypothesis extremely fascinating.

It’s always interesting to take something that is considered an undeniable truth and then dig in deeper to see if what we’ve been told, or if what we’ve come to accept or believe, might require more analysis. Antonio Damasio’s book might change the way you think about the mind as well as how you think about thinking itself. What if our feelings and emotions are actually the most important parts of who we are and how we live? What if they are more important than our thoughts and/or what if they somehow guide our thoughts? What if feelings and emotions are actually at the root of our thinking?

I personally believe that a great deal of what we think about comes from the questions that we ask ourselves on a daily basis. But what if even the questions we ask ourselves are bubbling to the surface based on our feelings and emotions? This is indeed an intriquing area of study.

So if you want to stretch your mind with some interesting concepts and ideas relative to thinking and the mind, I recommend reading “Descartes’ Error.” It might change the way you view yourself and the world around you.

Just for fun, think about this for the next 30 days and see if anything changes in your life:

“I FEEL, THEREFORE I AM.”

It’s more than just a philosophical mind bender. Giving your feelings and emotions more significance might lead you to a completely different life. In fact, what if your feelings and emotions are the most intelligent part of who you are? And what if they are trying to tell you how to live a better life but you’re just not listening?

I was going to end by saying “it’s worth thinking about” but maybe it would be more accurate to say “it’s worth feeling.”