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The Magic Word

One of my first mentors in personal development, Earl Nightingale, referred to the word “attitude” as both “The Magic Word” and one of the most important words in the English language. As with much of what Earl wrote and talked about, he was right on with this idea.

As a life-long student of success and failure, I’ve found that our attitude is the single greatest factor in determining how we experience life. It’s not an overstatement to say that it’s the strongest force behind the results we achieve.

Your attitude is a mixture of your philosophy of life, your beliefs, your expectations, and your emotions. What you feel and experience in life is primarily coming from your attitude, your outlook on life.

Perhaps attitude can best be defined as a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically in a way that is reflected in a person’s behavior. It’s hard to obtain good or great results in life without a good or great attitude.

How would you rate your attitude? As with all success concepts, attitude is not the only factor involved in what you achieve (or don’t achieve), but it’s right up there at the top.

Consider for a moment the attitudes of the people you’ve been around most of your life. Would you describe the general attitude in your environment both past and present to be poor, good, or great? Think about the attitude of your parents and other relatives as well as all of the people you are around on a daily basis right now. And how about the attitude that you bring to your environment? Would you describe it as poor, good, or great?

When clients tell me about the environment they experience on a daily basis, I often suggest the following method for sorting things out. If your environment, including the people you are currently around, reflects a poor attitude, consider using some strategic disassociation; if your environment is good, but not what you most want in your life, consider limiting the negative associations. If your environment is great, look for ways to expand your association with those people that most inspire you to grow. This is one of those concepts that is deceptively simple, yet all encompassing when it comes to how we experience life.

For the next 30 days, try cultivating a great attitude in all of your dealings with the world. I can promise you that this won’t be easy at first, especially if this isn’t something you have spent a lot of time previously thinking about or working on. However, if you’ll keep at it for a sufficient amount of time, you’ll soon discover that you are developing a new pattern of behavior that will impact every area of your life in ways that you can’t even imagine.

Work on making your attitude better every day and watch as new levels of synchronicity and serendipity come your way. We tend to get out of life what we expect, and our attitude is the key.

Focus your attitude using these two key words: Gratitude and Expectancy. First, be grateful for where you are in life and what you’ve already accomplished. In some ways, you’ve already won the grand prize in life. A scientist would tell you that your appearing on planet earth is beyond calculation or comprehension, especially if you happened to show up in a free country. So you’ve already won the lottery.

Second, expect the best. Cultivate an attitude of hopeful expectation. Work on expecting the best from life and watch how having great expectations leads to having even more to be grateful about.

Finally, commit the following three Earl Nightingale quotes to memory as a way to lock in place this most important idea:

  • “Our attitude toward others determines their attitude toward us.”
  • “We can let circumstances rule us, or we can take charge and rule our lives from within.”
  • “Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations.”

Earl was often referred to as the “Dean of Personal Development.” It’s certainly not hard to see why.

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Finding Your Place

Years ago, I remember Earl Nightingale relating a story about finding your place in the scheme of things. It seems that a marine biologist was working to save a group of seals that got caught in a fishing net. He was able to save all of the seals with the exception of one who turned out to be pregnant. While the marine biologist was unable to save the mother, he was able to save the baby seal who he decided to take home to give special care. The baby seal not only survived but actually thrived. In fact, the seal became something of a family pet. The seal enjoyed being with the family and took a special liking to the man’s young daughter.

The seal learned to play with balls and rings along with numerous tricks that included singing (or barking and grunting as the case may be) when the young girl would play the piano. Over time, the girl and the seal became constant companions. But the marine biologist began talking with his daughter about the seal and the fact that it would soon be time to return him to his true home, the ocean. His daughter didn’t like that idea and tended not to think about it.

But eventually, the time had come to return the seal to the ocean. The father took his young daughter and the now fully grown seal on a boat ride back to the place where the seal had been found. The girl knew it was time for the seal to go home but she was very sad about what was about to happen and tears flowed down her young face. Surprisingly, the seal didn’t seem very excited about being out on the water and nuzzled up against the girl with what looked like tears forming.

When they reached the desired location, the man and his daughter worked to help the seal into the water but the seal didn’t want to go. He kept trying to back away from the ocean but the dad and his daughter kept working to get the seal into the water. Suddenly, they were able to get the seal in the water all the while listening to barking sounds of sadness from the seal. But then something interesting happened.

As soon as the seal hit the water, he was immediately transformed from an awkward and lumbering creature on the land, into a thing of pure beauty and grace in the water. The seal realized as soon as he hit the ocean that this was the place he was meant to be. This was home. And as the girl watched him dart about the boat with style and ease, she knew it as well. Even though she knew she would miss him, she knew that he was where he was meant to be.

I often think about this story when I think about finding our place in the scheme of things. It’s not always easy to find our way in life, and sometimes it’s downright scary. But have you ever noticed how many great things in life often come from a dive into the unknown? Have you ever noticed how things that seem really scary often turn out to be just fine, and you look back and ask yourself why you were so afraid?

The seal was afraid to get back into the ocean because he had somehow forgotten that it was his home. Upon hitting the water, though, he immediately experienced how his special gifts fit perfectly with this environment. He could move through the water as if by magic. I believe we can each have the same kind of experience if we’ll have the courage to uncover our special gifts even if it means jumping into the unknown and experiencing some uncertainty to explore who we are and what we are meant to do.

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Great Mentors

Do you ever think much about the mentors that have helped you in your life? I think about them almost every day. It’s one of those things I’m especially grateful for in my life. No matter where you find yourself in your life’s journey, I can guarantee that there are people that have helped you get where you are and become the person you have become. Take a minute to think about your mentors. In fact, why not take the time today to call one of your mentors today and say “thank you” while you still can?

One of the reasons I think about this is because some of my most important mentors have passed on. However, I feel their contribution in my life constantly. It’s sometimes said there are some doors in life that you cannot open for yourself. I think that’s true. I’ve been fortunate to achieve many things that never would have happened without a number of mentors opening doors for me.

I’ve been lucky enough to have a few mentors that reached such a high level of success and achievement that many people know their names, people like Earl Nightingale, Jim Rohn, Wayne Dyer, and Tony Robbins to name a few. Yet, I’ve also had equally important mentors that I promise you have never heard of unless you’ve talked with me personally.
Let me tell you a story about one of them.

His name is Paul Sweet. I met him when I was quite young, and he has since passed on, yet I feel his influence in my life daily. My first memory of Mr. Sweet was seeing him walk in the neighborhood where I grew up with his hand on his wife’s shoulder and his other hand checking the ground ahead with a walking cane for the blind.

I remember my mom telling me that he was a great musician but that he had lost his eyesight as an adult from a disease. I remember not thinking too much about it until one summer afternoon when the windows of his house were open, and I could hear him playing his clarinet. I was incredibly impressed by the beautiful sounds coming from the open windows.

A few years later, I found myself at his doorstep collecting money as a paperboy for the Omaha World Herald Newspaper. I was surprised he was on my customer list but I learned that the newspaper was for his wife. I’ll never forget it because I had to collect money from customers once a month so I would knock on his door and he would come to the door and appear to be looking right at me, except I knew he was blind. You would have never guessed he was blind at first glance. He moved with complete confidence in his house as if he could see everything. He was incredibly friendly and jovial. He would ask me how much he owed and then reach into his billfold for dollar bills. Next, he would reach into his pocket for the exact change.

The reason I remember this so clearly is that when it came time to collect around the holidays one year, he handed me the exact change as always but then handed me a twenty dollar bill. I was sure he had made a mistake because not every one tipped and if they did, a dollar or two would have been plenty. So I said, “Mr. Sweet, this is a twenty dollar bill.” He said, “I know, that’s for you for providing such great service. I really appreciate you putting my paper on the hanger of my mailbox instead of just tossing it on the steps.” I was blown away. This was something I would never forget. Then, I asked him how he could tell the various bills in his wallet apart. He proceeded to show me that he had the money in his billfold organized and separated so that he knew what was where without being able to see. He said his wife always helped him organize his wallet.

Mr. Sweet fascinated me because I couldn’t imagine going blind and still having a great outlook on life. I thought he would be bitter or mad but he wasn’t. In fact, he was just the opposite. He had an incredibly positive attitude.

I later learned that as his blindness began to set in, he had to develop systems for just about everything that I took for granted every day. He had the furniture and everything else in his house entirely memorized including a very elaborate stereo system with more records and tapes than I had ever seen. I remember watching him pour a cup of tea one day and using his hands and fingers in such a way so as to know when the glass was full. Yet it was a couple of years after I had given up my paper route that I was to be completely amazed.

I had received a hand-me-down clarinet from my brother, and I was playing it at elementary school. A short time before I was to leave for a concert, I was practicing and something went wrong with the clarinet. It wouldn’t play correctly. In fact, it wouldn’t play at all. There wasn’t enough time to go to the music store to get the instrument repaired so my mom called Mr. Sweet to ask for his advice. He told my mom to have me come over with the clarinet and he’d see what he could do or he would let me use one of his spare instruments.

Even though I had seen him provide the correct change and pour tea and a few other things that surprised me, I had no idea how he could fix something as intricate as a clarinet. Yet, to my utter amazement, he took my clarinet, had me follow him to a workshop in the house, and proceeded to fix my clarinet. He took off keys, removed pads, fixed felt, and cork pieces that had fallen off, and then put all of the pieces back together. As I sat there watching him do all this, I was amazed. But that wasn’t the best part.

I thought I had a very poor quality instrument that didn’t sound very good even when it did work. I was wrong. He put his mouthpiece on my clarinet and began to play. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. It was incredible. I’d never heard someone play so fast and play so well. His fingers moved like lightening on the keys. When he quickly finished repairing and checking the clarinet, he handed me the clarinet and complimented me on how good an instrument it was.
I hurried to the concert and played better than I ever had before. To top it off, when I later asked my mom if I could take lessons from Mr. Sweet, she agreed. That was the beginning of a beautiful mentorship.

Here’s what I find so interesting. In many ways, this story has nothing to do with me learning to play a musical instrument or being taught by a blind musician, although some of my best memories are of taking clarinet and saxophone lessons from Mr. Sweet. In fact, one of my favorite memories is of playing duets with Mr. Sweet or jamming to “Music Minus One” accompaniment records and tapes that he owned. I learned so much from Mr. Sweet but the most valuable lessons I learned were not about music but about life. Despite unbelievable challenges in his life, Mr. Sweet had an amazing attitude and philosophy of life. He didn’t allow what I considered at the time to be knockout challenges to stop him in any way. He kept a great attitude and persevered. He was widely respected in town not just because he was an amazing musician but because he was an amazing human being who knew how to overcome enormous obstacles. I remember thinking at the time how perfect his name fit him. Mr. Sweet was a kind, patient, optimistic, and incredibly sweet person.

Imagine what it would be like to lose your eyesight after having had it for much of your life? In Mr. Sweet’s case, before losing his eyesight, he made a living by reading music in studio sessions and playing with many professional groups, including sitting in with famous big bands and singers that would come through town. He was known as one of the best sight-readers in Omaha and was in great demand because he could play anything that you put in front of him and get it right the first time. When his eyesight started to go, his ability to make a living dramatically changed. If he couldn’t read the charts, he couldn’t play the gigs. Yet I never heard him complain even one time about losing his eyesight. In fact, he never complained about anything. He simply found ways to work around not being able to see. He had to relearn just about everything but he took it all in stride.

When I asked him about what had happened as he lost his eyesight, he said that he just started to memorize songs and also work more on being able to play by ear so he could still work. He found groups to play with where he could memorize the music. I’ll never forget watching him perform. He would simply put his hand on someone’s shoulder to walk on stage and find his place. You would have never even noticed that he was blind. Once he started to play, he was the center of attention. What an incredible musician. He was an even more incredible human being. I miss him.

When I think about Mr. Sweet, I often think of this quote by Calvin Coolidge:

* * * * *

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence.

Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.

Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.

Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.

Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan ‘Press On!’ has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race.”

* * * * *

Thank you again, Mr. Sweet!